Some Families Are Alive and Well

By Matthew Kaufman

We all know the bad news about the state of the American Family. Divorce, adultery, unmarried couples cohabiting, single-parent households, and teenage promiscuity are all around us. Worse, our cultural leaders encourage these trends. Government-funded agencies, including schools, hand out condoms, MTV videos seek to outdo each other in raunchiness, and even television sitcom families increasingly reflect the warped vision of The Simpsons and Married . . . with Children.

Little wonder, then, that Christians often feel surrounded, and wonder whether there is any way to raise a family true to (heir faith. Concern is justified, but despair is not. For there is good news too – some families are alive and well. The Christian family is alive and well!

I am not cheerleading, but stating a matter of empirical fact. Numerous research studies are finding that strong spiritual families show a remarkable ability to overcome the culture around them.

For example, the chances that a teenage girl will be sexually active are two and a half limes lower, if she lives with two parents than if she lives in a one-parent household.¹ Nor is it just girls who learn continence from intact families. Teenage boys who live with both parents are approximately half as likely to father a child as those who live with a single parent.²

Studies also confirm that avoiding a promiscuous lifestyle is linked to a strong religious commitment. In a study by the RAND Corporation it was found that girls who are "very religious" are two and a half to three times less likely lo bear a child out of wedlock than those who are "not at all religious".³

Christian families also tend to be much more resistant to drug abuse. One major study revealed, in the words of pro-family scholar Allan Carlson, that: "Low risk families held an unquestioned belief in God, regularly attended church, were father-led and authoritative, had more children, and had mothers who gave first priority to their home and family. 'High risk' families, in contrast, had mothers who were employed and gave priority to meeting their 'human potential', had fathers who were 'overly intellectual and took on mothers' functions,'and were skeptical about God and rarely attended church. Simply put, intact, religious, traditional families successfully used 'protective measures to ensure that external influences will not affect family unity' and gave their children enough 'intestinal fortitude' to fight temptation."⁴

By virtually every measure – educational achievement, crime rates, alcohol usage, emotional well-being, and even physical health – a growing body of research shows that those who fare best, both children and adults, live in intact families marked by their commitment to God.

Significantly, these findings have held true across all income levels and ethnic lines. This has come as a surprise to many sociologists accustomed to attributing social problems to poverty, discrimination, racial factors, and other fashionable explanations. But the family is not just another "social structure", a human invention. The family is ordained by God, and what He builds is made of stronger stuff than the works of man.

As Christian families have proved their durability, surveys arc showing a growing number of Americans are attaching greater importance to these traditional values. Some 56 percent of voters name their greatest goal in life as a closer relationship with God. And in a recent Gallup poll, 93 percent of Americans describe a good family life as "very important" to them – up from 82percent in 1981. The trend is even stronger among young people: among respondents aged 18 to 29, again 93 percent say they highly value family life, up from 78 percent a decade earlier.*

What these surveys reflect is something short of the rebirth of Christian civilization. People's professed beliefs do not always govern their actions. Ninety three percent say family life is important, but America's epidemic of divorce or non-marital sex is, sadly, not confined to a mere seven percent of the populace. Moreover, when some 44 percent name any goal as more important than their relationship with God, clearly much work remains to be done.

Nevertheless, there is good reason to be encouraged. After all, for many years now we have been fed a steady diet of secularist philosophies. God and family have been denigrated in favor of "personal fulfillment" and "self-discovery". These ideas have had their appeal, but an increasing number of Americans have realized their emptiness, and are now finding their way back to more substantial values.

Train a child in the way he should go. Scripture tells us, and when he is grown he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6).

To be sure, me Christian family is not invincible, but the Lord on whom it is based, is.. Whatever the stale of the world, families who draw on the strength of Jesus Christ will never find Him wanting.

* Kaufman is editor of Life Bulletin, the newsletter of Lutherans for Life of Illinois. Reprinted by permission from Living, Summer, 1992.